Monthly Archives: March 2014
Surely you have heard in the news or from friends that Michigan’s ban on same sex marriage was ruled unconstitutional last week. The update on this situation is that everything has been put on hold. What’s more is that hundreds of couples have actually gotten married once the ruling was announced. Check out this video to get a deeper look at what is going on in my state.
A remarkable and groundbreaking event recently took place when former Miss America finalist, Djuan Trent, came out as ‘queer’. Although she wasn’t out during her reign as Miss Kentucky, her choice to come out at all is a first in the pageant’s history. She is the first known beauty pageant contestant to publicly announce being a lesbian.
I don’t always talk about freshly out famous people. Mainly because it’s hard to keep up with all of the newbies due to so many taking that refreshing step of coming out. But this is more than just a celebrity outing, this is a step in history. This breaks the barriers created by stereotypes.
Djuan Trent was crowned Miss Kentucky in 2010 and competed in the 2011 Miss America competition, representing her home state. She recently wrote an entry on her blog, revealing her biggest secret.
“So…back to my initial thought. For months, I have been contemplating how I would write this post, how I would position it, when would be the right time to post it. Should I make it funny? Should I make it mysterious? Should I make it serious? Should I pick a special date to do it? Should I build some kind of anticipation around it? Hmmm…ain’t nobody got time for that. I have written and re-written and deleted and restarted this post more times than I care to share, and after all of that I have finally realized: “There ain’t nothin’ to it, but to do it.” So, here we go folks…
I am queer.”
Trent received a lot of backlash for her declaration, she also received a great deal of support. Her decision to come out started to enter her mind during Kentucky’s legal debate on equal rights for same sex couples.
Other pageant contestants have come out in the past, however Dejuan is the only one who has won her state title and participated in the national competition for Miss America.
I mentioned stereotypes above because when thinking of the ideal Miss America, one typically imagines a stunningly beautiful, feminine, glammed up, smiley, barbie doll type of woman. Not exactly the stereotypical ideals of a lesbian. Dyke Barbie? Not so much. But the truth is lesbians do not fit into such rigid parameters. We come in all shapes, sizes, dipsticks, and lipsticks. And evidently beauty pageants as well. Now, I don’t know much about beauty pageants, and I’m sure many of you think unfavorably of them, due to the patriarchal standards backing the pageant industry. But that is another topic for another time. I am now looking at equal opportunity institutions and giving these women the strength to be their very best. For my own lack of knowledge, I will assume these competitions offer that to the wonderful women who partake.
Frankly, I’m proud that Djuan Trent was comfortable enough to come out after being the center of such a feminine arena. I remember living in the closet when I worked at an all female salon, terrified of the straight women viewing me as perverse or being afraid of me. It seems silly now, but that was a different time, and stereotypes often lead to prejudice so, I played it safe.
I think we can all learn something from Djuan Trent. She is a strong, brave woman, who had the courage to be her true self and share that with the world. I hope more girls can see her as a role model, as Miss Kentucky and as a queer woman.
I first got “Jonesed” in 2000. I was a senior and she was a freshman. A very audacious little freshman because I was hot shit my senior year. Now this is dating back almost 15 years, so it was a different time. At that time, the only out lesbian couple was myself and my then girlfriend. We were very popular (as a couple) and surrounded by attention and controversy. Sweet, smooth talking freshman, Christina Jones, found it all to be very infectious, and thus a little baby dyke was born.
Jones had an annoying habit of following my girlfriend and I around, hoping to pick up lesbo tips, I assume. Well, that, or strands of hair. Then one Monday morning, at the start of a new semester, Christina Jones and I were to report to the same homeroom, down a long, desolate hallway, in the back of the building. She didn’t talk to me in class, mainly because her friends didn’t know about her infatuation, and because she was intimidated.
What happens next will forever go down into the herstory books. Upon exiting the classroom, I swung into the girls restroom. As I finished my business and stepped out of the stall, I was taken by complete surprise as I was pushed up against a wall and passionately kissed on the mouth. Caught completely off guard, I could not speak, just look at the ballsy freshman, who smiled and turned away out of the room. I could not believe this little freshman had the courage and audacity to make such a move on a big freshman. I didn’t know to feel victimized or impressed.
Years passed, and I didn’t keep in touch with Christina Jones. I think I saw her at a pride festival here and there, but nothing was ever spoken of her ladies room stunt. Then one night in 2005, I was at a new dyke club with the girl I was dating. It was a hot club and the place was packed. I suddenly got the feeling of eyes on me. My premonition was correct, and a smooth talking baby dyke was dancing next to me. Sporting a rainbow belt and ponytail, she gave me this huge grin and introduced me to her girlfriend. I thought it was sweet that she could be out of the closet, living an open life, that she had grown up.
The bar was about to close so my girl and I hit the restroom before heading home. Did my business, stepped out of the stall, and BAM! Pushed up against a wall and intensely kissed, full on, on my mouth. I looked at Jones and, again, had no words. My girlfriend was still in the bathroom stall. She hadn’t seen any of the kiss attack. Christina Jones had “Jonesed” me again! How the fuck did I allow this to happen twice? I haven’t talked to this girl in five years!
Next came the era of Facebook, and Christina Jones and I had become ‘friends’, along with a hundred other people from my high school. We never communicate online, but she sees my information- like getting married and having a baby- and I see her info too- like moving out of state. Yes, Christina Jones moved to Kentucky. Not going to lie, seeing that produced a bit of relief.
Last night I went out to a bar for lesbian night with a couple of friends. It was my first night out since the baby was born, so I was ready to cut loose. Somehow my friends and I got onto the topic of Christina Jones, and the act of getting “Jonesed”. As we made our way to the ladies room, we joked to always watch your back in the bathroom at places like this. So I did my business, and stepped out of the stall, to find a long line of cuties waiting for their turn. The bathroom attendant handed me some paper towel and I walked out.
And there she was. Fucking Christina Jones, not in Kentucky. In my bar. With my guard up a little, I smiled and we started conversing. The way I saw it, we weren’t in a bathroom, there were people around, and she knows I’m married. We started to joke about the sneaky smoothness of her prior convictions. Okay, cool. The trend is over and we are officially grown ups. Then, mid fucking sentence- BAM!…
Christina Jones is officially my master. She kissed me in front of everyone and I was stupidly caught off guard. I can’t believe I got “Jonesed” a third fucking time.
I think it’s time to accept that I will randomly be ambushed every handful of years when I least expect it. It’s ridiculous and weird. It was entertaining when my friend bitch slapped her for kissing me, but that’s another story for a another day.
My warning to others is to steer clear of Christina Jones, especially in, around, or within 20 feet of a restroom. Rumor has it there have been others who have been “Jonesed” as well. I’m sure I’m the only three-striker.
*Names have been changed to ensure privacy. And so I don’t get hunted down.
I’m enticed by heavy petting,
By your sculpted neon light.
I know to what you’re getting,
Your flesh gripping me so tight.
I’m seduced by your reaction
To the wreckage I undress.
Your eyes watch only a fraction,
Of my deliberate finesse.
I’m lured to intoxication
Under the influence of your heart.
You slither with anticipation,
And you spread my heat apart.
I’m inhaling all your pores,
As you drink from my sweet well.
Your mouth pushes inside more,
My river eagerly expels.
I’m turned on by your confession,
While you made me arch my back.
Your love for me with proud concession,
I brush against your hungry track.
I’m learning each and every curve,
Your secretion fills my dream.
Glass-like eyes watching as I serve,
Breathing out a whispering scream.
I’m evolving from my fear within,
And the feelings in my soul.
You are indeed my heroin.
I crave your being as a whole.