It was the day I had been waiting for. The day many of us dream of. The day I would proudly walk the streets of our local pride festival, but not alone, not slinging beers with friends, and not even hand in hand with some new cutie. But with my family. My beautiful wife and our sweet baby boy.
Long before we were even pregnant with our son, my wife and I talked about including our potential children in all of the lgbt events and festivities we participate in. How fun to stroll down the street of the pride fest, pushing a stroller, showing the world “I am a lesbian. And I am a parent!” Well, that fantasy came true yesterday afternoon.
A Whole New Kind of Club
What was quite interesting, that I would normally have never noticed, is the slew of other dyke moms out there! No joke, the streets were flooded with them yesterday. And the feeling you get when you exchange nods with one of these other women, sort of like a secret society of lesbo mothers symbolic head gesture, is really fantastic. When you step back and look at the bigger picture, how cool to be in a safe space, out in the open, as gay parents. What’s even better is not that we are gay parents, but we’re parents. Doing things parents do. Asking one another “how many months old is he?” Showing your baby the brightly colored rainbow flags, rubbing on extra sunscreen because the sun’s rays are extra fierce on baby skin.
Why it Meant So Much
This particular pride festival took place in one of the smaller Metro Detroit cities near our home. It is not the big Motor City pride that is in downtown Detroit. The smaller, intimate festival was actually where my wife and I had reunited (after parting ways post-high school) eight years ago. I remember she was looking all hot and tanned, and we were both a bit tipsy. We were at the ripe age of 22, and we quickly fell wildly in love. It’s a story we enjoy telling, and we were both feeling sentimental bringing our sweet little bundle to the place that started it all.
The Great Divide
A slight twist of events occurred when attempting to meet up with our group of friends. Apparently something happens when you become a parent. That is, you’re interests differ in ways unexpected from your peers. While we were enjoying walking around absorbing the scenery, my (child-less) friends had interests in other alcohol-fueled directions. My wife and I found an outdoor table at this cute hipster fro-yo shop, while the gang was trying to make room for our stroller in the pub. We politely declined, and instead, introduced strawberries to our son for the first time. (He loved them by the way!) I suppose in past, had my friends and I spent pride in different arenas, I’d probably be disappointed. But, this time around, I wasn’t the least bit bothered. I respect that they want to do other things from what I hold a priority now. I loved doing the family thing with my favorite people.
Children Are the Future
It is so important for kids to experience pride the way that we do. Of course use your discretion on age appropriate activities, but let them see different kinds of people. Let them see there are other families like theirs- two moms or two dads. Show them different symbols and flags. Children really are our future. These young minds are developing new ideas as we speak. Hate is not something we are born with. Teach them about equality. Let them see love. Feel love. Human beings benefit from diversity. I stand firm that this is something I want my son to know. And by letting children attend pride events, parents are teaching the right message.
This was definitely a unique way to experience the pride festival. I’ve been attending pride since I was 18, and I’m now in my 30’s. This year was different from all the rest. In the past, I was more into partying or shopping, or meeting new people. I feel like this time, we created a new milestone as a family. My heart is filled with warmth and love.
Hey everyone, this year I am participating in Mombian’s Blogging for LGBTQ Families, and I’d like to spread the word to you fellow bloggers as well!
How does it work? Simple. Go to this Mombian link to submit your post about LGBTQ families. The post can be about anything. All posts will be added to a master list for all to enjoy. This is a great way to experience new blogs, new ideas, and new people to learn from and relate to.
Here is a list of topic ideas from the Mombian website:
- An anecdote from your daily family life. Your post doesn’t need to be epic (although it can be, if that’s how you roll). Sometimes an everyday moment says it all.
- A story about an LGBT family you know. What has knowing them meant to you and/or your kids?
- Why you want(ed) to become a parent.
- One thing about your family that makes it different from most others around you, and one thing that makes it the same.
- How coming out or transitioning has affected your relationship(s) with your child(ren) or your parent(s).
- Your favorite book, movie, or TV show that includes LGBT parents and/or their children.
- How you’d incorporate LGBT parents or kids into an existing book, movie, or TV show that doesn’t have them.
- How a law or court ruling for or against LGBT equality has affected your family or one you know.
- Why you support a bill or pending court ruling for LGBT equality.
- A photo or video of your family.
- How becoming a parent has changed your relationship with your extended family.
- The one thing you’d most like to tell [fill in a politician’s name] about LGBT families.
- How your faith informs your parenting, or your views on LGBT families.
- A poem about your family or a family you know.
- Your favorite family activity.
I hope that you consider participating, and please share this unique opportunity with others! The post that I’m submitting will be up soon.
I had the privilege of staying home from work today to spend time with my four month old son. And let me tell you, this kid gave me a run for my money! His usually happy, easy-going nature transformed into one crabby little baby. He was so irritable and cranky today that it took all I had to try to soothe him. I learned another lesson in what it means to be a parent. I’m exhausted. And I’m happy. I’m so excited to be there to soothe him when he’s at his worst, to hold him when he’s in need of a nap, to provide smashed green beans and fill his belly. Sure, there will be rough moments, but I love every second. I am mommy.
A day in the life of a lesbian, who just happens to be a mom, wife, and employee.
5:00 a.m. – The alarm wails from the dresser.
5:15 a.m. – The baby fusses in the monitor.
5:20 a.m. – Diaper change.
5:30 a.m. – Let the dog out.
5:40 a.m. – Finally go pee while my wife nurses the baby.
6:00 a.m. – Down two cups of coffee, kiss the wife as she runs out the door, and prepare my lunch.
Fast forward to 8:00 a.m. where the baby is dressed, has been fed a bottle, I am dressed, sporting a very rushed makeup job, and we are driving to the sitter’s house with a packed diaper bag, extra bottles, and my brain, which is sitting on the passenger seat beside me.
It’s busy season at the office, so by 10:30 a.m., I have spoken to 15 clients, handled four scheduling discrepancies, responded to a handful of emails, and derailed my boss from a potential crisis.
12:45 p.m. – Lunch is actually more like grazing as I mull over unedited documents.
2:30 p.m. – Place a laundry list of product orders.
5:00 p.m. – Breathe a sigh of relief and get the hell out of there.
5:12 p.m. – Rush hour traffic.
The very notion of seeing my baby boy at 5:45 p.m. is literally not able to be explained. Warmth and joy, people. Warmth and joy.
6:00 p.m. – Dinner with my wife. Compare notes of our work day. Feed the baby his green beans, which he manages to get everywhere.
6:25 p.m. – Feed dog.
6:35 p.m. – Check email, Facebook, other brain-sucks.
7:00 p.m. – Baby bath time. Jammies.
8:20 p.m. – Tuck in baby boy.
8:30 p.m. – Wife and I are glued to the couch, feet up, yawning with bloodshot eyes.
8:35 p.m. Flip through the channels. Scoff at Miley. Bitch about the weather. Shut it off.
And by 9:00 p.m., I’ve dragged myself to the shower, let the dog out, and packed the diaper bag for the morning. By 9:30 p.m., my lovely wife and I are both in bed, ready to do it all over again tomorrow.
So, there you have it. A day in the life of a lesbian. I scratch my ass and pick up pennies. I love my family. I have to force myself to work out. Pretty ‘normal’ if you ask me.